EP 5 - What Are You Feeding? - FEAR OR LOVE

Sent 315 Podcast - Episode 5

What Are You Feeding? Fear or Love

Intro: 00:01

Welcome to Sent 315. We're here to encourage and equip Christians to engage in the adventure of sharing Jesus, those that God puts into their life. And we're so glad you're here. Everybody, Kevin Miller, your host of Sent 315, of course, with Sarah Mayne.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 00:21

Hello.

Kevin Miller: 00:22

And with Matt Hall, you're hanging out, Matt?

Matt Hall: 00:24

I am. Good morning.

Kevin Miller: 00:26

It is a good day, isn't it?

Matt Hall: 00:28

Really, really. I mean, after the rain, you get a little sunshine, and it's just a good time to worship the Lord in the morning because it's a fresh brand new day. So yeah, it's beautiful.

Kevin Miller: 00:40

It so hit me after kind of a hectic day, and all that rain and everything. I went home and I sat on my deck and I get a view of these mountains, I guess we call them mountains. They're very large hills that I run. And I sat there. And I watched these huge cumulus or whatever fluffy clouds move. You have to stop because the movement of the clouds is almost imperceptible. So, if you slow yourself down and just look at the clouds, and they're slowly shifting, like huge glaciers through this guy, and it just makes you stop and just hey, God, you're so good.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 01:16

Yeah, I like seeing the snow, the dust of snow in the mountain. Kind of mountain that we have in the Far East.

Kevin Miller: 01:26

I don't know if we have time to share. But you had a wonderful time in Yosemite, did you get to share any of that?

Sarah Marie Mayne: 01:33

Yes, we got to hike in the snow. We stayed at the Yosemite Valley Lodge, which is right across from two of the main waterfalls of Yosemite Falls there. And it was just really refreshing and lovely and beautiful. And I got to sit and stare at El Capitan, which is one of my favorite things to do. Because it's just this, I think it's over 3000 feet of solid granite rock. Half Dome is amazing to look at. And you go there and the verse that says the rocks cry out, those rocks scream.

Kevin Miller: 02:08

Well, I want to share one thing that happened this week that was so encouraging to me. And I hope this happens to folks that are listening too because the whole idea is let's just be obedient. Let's enter into the adventure, let's share our faith, be prepared. And for those who haven't checked out our website yet, there's a little area for blogging. And so, I posted a blog just a short while ago, on a story that I may have shared on the show.

But the blog spells out a story that happened about 10 years ago at a wedding and you'll have to go to the blog post. It was 10 years ago in a bathroom at a reception. And what was so so cool that happened two days ago, and or a few days ago, when I posted the blog post. Right after that somebody sent me a picture of the guy who was in that restroom. And he was smiling so big, and he is serving the Lord at a church that I know. And he was with, I'd look like who might have been the girlfriend that said, hey, Mario, what are you doing in there? You've been in there forever.

Kevin Miller: 03:10

Don't tell them the story.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 03:10

[Crosstalk: 03:10] about the Lord in the bathroom?

Sarah Marie Mayne: 03:13

I'm not telling the story [crosstalk: 03:14]

Kevin Miller: 03:16

That was happening. And that's the last I saw Mario. We changed numbers and we kind of went different ways and everything and I've wondered about him. And there he was you could just tell the love of Jesus. And so, when the Lord goes, hey, yeah, stuff happens. You don't even know about it. Just do what I'm helping you to do, what I've called. You have to do. Don't be afraid. And that's what we're going to talk about today, right?

Sarah Marie Mayne: 03:40

Yes, it is.

Kevin Miller: 03:41

I have heard all these statistics about fear that the number one fear of people is public speaking. It's bigger than death. It's bigger than how popular you are with snakes. It's a bigger fear than heights and blood and needles and claustrophobia.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 04:00

Don't talk about needles, my skin will start to crawl?

Kevin Miller: 04:03

Okay. So, we'll go down to ones you're not afraid of. Zombies?

Sarah Marie Mayne: 04:07

No

Kevin Miller: 04:07

Clowns?

Sarah Marie Mayne: 04:08

No.

Kevin Miller: 04:08

Okay, good.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 04:09

I do have a friend who's afraid of clowns.

Kevin Miller: 04:11

Yeah, we all have friends that we like to scare with clowns.

Kevin Miller: 04:14

I don't do that. Because I love them Kevin.

Kevin Miller: 04:17

I know. You're a good person. And that's why we're together. So, public speaking. And so, that kind of fits into people's boundaries. When I'm teaching classes or hanging out with people and saying why? Why do you have this dissidence? Why do you really want to share Jesus with others, and you don't to the degree that you feel that you should and fear I hear most of anything. I also think there's a love quotient that we'll talk about that is another barrier that's just as high. But we want to talk about fear and that it's common to man that God knows all about this fear and what we have to do with it. You ever been afraid?

Sarah Marie Mayne: 04:53

Oh, yeah, I was afraid at the gym this week. Actually, there's a room where they do hydro massages. And so, you just jump on the hydro massage bed and it's the best after workout.

Kevin Miller: 05:05

As long as they don't limit you to 10 minutes. Like 10 minutes, I want to be here half an hour.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 05:09

You can do multiple, but it's just awesome. But I was in there, and it's social distanced. But there was another lady in there. And I felt like maybe I was supposed to pray for her or it's just that thought that just jumped in. And I was just like, no, I'm scared. What if she doesn't...? I don't know. It was just so stupid so I just left. That was a fail.

Kevin Miller: 05:12

I've got so many of those.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 05:37

Yeah, I remember one time I was on an airplane, another lifetime before [inaudible: 05:42] it feels. I was on an airplane. And there was a lady sitting one seat over for me. And I was praying before I got on the plane. Because you know you always hear the cool airplane, pastor, evangelist stories. And so, I was like, I want one of those. And so, I was just praying to be able to say something to the lady who was sitting next to me. And I felt like I got something. And then I waited, and waited and waited because I couldn't tell her in the middle of the flight. What if she got mad at me? What if she hated me?

Kevin Miller: 06:19

She'd call the stewardess.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 06:21

Yeah. And then she was drinking a glass of wine so what if she was not be intoxicated anymore? It was going to make her more mad. It was very wild. So, I waited till the last minute when the flight attendant, after we had landed, said, okay, you guys can get off the plane. And the front of the plane is starting to get off. And then I leaned over and prayed for her. I don't even remember what I said. That could have been a cooler thing that happened. I still did what the Lord asked me to. But I let fear derive that more than I did love and the Lord.

Kevin Miller: 07:01

I get it. And that's why it says that fear is the number one fear, it's common to us and everything. Donald Miller 's got a great quote. I won't quote the whole thing. But he says the most often repeated commandment in the Bible is do not fear. It's there over 200 times. Now there is important things to us in the Bible, that are in there two times, and we do them and we believe them and we get it. But God having to say fear not, do not fear, have courage and all of that. It means he knows us. He made us that way.

And so, probably everybody who is listening has experienced something like this. I think the thing that's important is I just read a little blog by somebody that I really, really respect her name is Annie Grace. And she said that she's got a four year old daughter that likes to pour her own smoothies out of the heavy, heavy blender. And so, it is a mess every single time. So, she cleans it up. And she's not telling her what a stupid kid she is, and not taking it out of her hands and all of that.

And so, many times we have an oops or a spill then the smoothies on the floor, and then we berate ourselves and say I'm never going to try that again. I'm horrible at it. God is so disappointed in me and all of that stuff, and he's not. He's not. He's just going to clean up a mess supernaturally and things are going to happen. And so, we never claim our supernatural big deal victories because they're not us. And we never claim, oh that was horrible to the extent that we go, okay, God, let's go do it again, and get back on the horse.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 08:42

With that. So, we know the Bible says, do not fear. Do not fear, we've heard a million sermons on it on all sorts of things. Why is it that it's still so easy to give into that fear? Because the Bible says, that he hasn't given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. And yet we have these moments, especially sometimes it feels like the most heavy, at least for me, is when we're going to tell someone the best news in the world. Even just something simple as, hey, Jesus loves you. What is that?

Kevin Miller: 09:20

I'll tell you what I think. There's a lot of different factors maybe, but a simple one is, who are you listening to? And what are you feeding? Because I tell you, if you're feeding your secret life with God, and you're spending time with him, and you're responding to the little gentle nudges, sometimes they're a lot harder than that. As you have a habit and a pattern of that, it gets easier and more natural and that's the way you are.

If you feed that other side and feed that fear and listen to that fear, that voice becomes clearer and clearer wherever it's coming from. From your failures of the past, from yourself, from people in the world that have told you you're never going to amount to anything or whatever. And the enemy echoing that, because he's there and he doesn't want this stuff to happen. So, whatever you tune into, whatever frequency you're listening to, and whatever habit you feed.

I went on a trail run today with Matt’s son, the flying Kyle Hall. And we were talking about it. The habits that you have, you get better at it, and you have more endurance, and you don't fall down as much, and things like that that happen. And so, it's the same way with this. I think we're obedient, we step into it, and we recognize the voice of the Lord that shouts that out.

Plus what we were talking about today, and we've talked about before perfect love casts out fear is we understand how much he loves us, and he's going to back us up, and he's going to be there for us, and that he called us to it like in Ephesians 2:10. I'm here, come with me. And we understand that love. Then there's a piece and a security, like this may be dangerous, in some social ways, or whatever. But you're with me, so I trust you.

And then the second one that may even be more important, how much he loves them. So, he loved them so much that he sent his son. He loved him so much just like us that while we were acting like enemies of his, he came to us and he came after us. And he didn't give up on us. When we understand that fear gets silenced, and it gets quiet. Because love is so so big.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 11:35

I loved what you said about what are you feeding? Are you feeding the love of the Lord in your life? Or are you feeding the fear? And so, what are some, we can just name off some practical ways to feed the love of the Lord in our life?

Kevin Miller: 11:53

Well, I've talked about with you and maybe on the show a little bit. I think is you wake up in the morning, that's really, really important. At least for me, I'm an early bird. I am irritatingly chipper in the morning, not so much at late at night. And so, that sets the tone for my day. So, how are you going to set your tone? For me, and it's different for a lot of different people. For me, it's devotion. So, being in a devotion, I love to do that with my wife, Sylvia, because that just connects it all together.

I think the preparation of your heart more than, we've talked about the preparation academically or memorizing everything, but your heart. And just talking to the Lord and saying, hey, I'm available, I'm willing, give me courage. Supernaturally allow me to understand what's going on, so I can step into it. So, setting the tone is so important.

life. Not to [unintelligible:: 12:59

Once again, this isn't a constant battle and a burden. The more that you do these things that are right for you that align yourself with God, Matt and I were talking before you got here today. And he was talking to the Lord with music, with worship. And I was so impacted by what he played, I could hear it, how God built you, you do that to connect with him. And it just becomes how you are and it becomes natural.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 13:48

I think one thing too, that helps me personally feed the love of the Lord is actually I have two things. So, one is remembering what I'm saved from. And that one is a little more intentional on my part because I came to the Lord before I acted on a lot of things that I could have acted on, which I'm grateful for. But I still have that capability. And I have the grace and the gift because of the people who came before me and gave me the ability to meet the Lord at such a young age. I didn't have to go through the same experiences that a lot of people fall into. But I was still saved from that. Not having to go through that.

Kevin Miller: 14:34

Pre-saved.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 14:35

Yeah. And so, I'm still saved from all those things. And I can still look at my own heart and say, oh, I understand how someone could be a drunk or addicted to drugs or just whatever it is. I have understanding for it. And I'm thankful that God saved me out of it. And that helps me grow love, being all of God's love for me. And then also have love for other people.

And I think the second thing that I do to feed that love is looking for the goodness of God in other people, especially areas where I'm afraid. Or issues of the day that we have to deal with and think about differently. I try to look and I say, okay, what is the good part that God is in this movement? What are the pieces where maybe the Lord is trying to shine light in this area? And how can I key off of his love in that area to reach these kinds of people or speak to them to have understanding in that way, even though there's a point where we widely disagree.

Kevin Miller: 15:41

It reminds me too, there's one that's really important for me too, and it's who you surround yourself with. Now, sometimes you're working somewhere where you know who you're surrounded with. But I think seeking out those relationships that challenge you and feed you, the encouragement, all of that, I think that helps you because you really do to a large extent become like those who you're surrounded with, that you really associate with, in a transparent, authentic all the way in kind of way. You may be in a real mission field. And it could be hard where somebody works.

You know I'm blessed, and I'm grateful for it. But I've got a particular buddy that we will have on the show Shane Blafield, hi Shane, who we kind of challenge each other by the things that the Lord is doing. And it makes us like you say, hey, I want a story like that, in a good way. In a spiritually jealous way, we spur each other on. So, the people that you surround yourself with as well can really build that consistency and that love and going after it.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 16:40

What are some ways? So, we just talked about the ways that we can feed love. I think too, it's important, we take just a couple minutes talk about what are some things that would feed the fear. Because sometimes I think we feed both the same time. And it's not the things that feed fear. And there's an element that it's going to look a little different per person. But I think we have to be careful that in these things that could possibly feed fear that we're making sure they're not. That they're in a proper place.

Kevin Miller: 17:13

I think there's a couple of things. One is, I will probably butcher this quote, but we're afraid of so many things that never ever, ever happen. And so, we're conjuring them up, and we're embellishing them. Like you were saying, you were talking about all these things that could go wrong. So, you're embracing it, you're fondling it, you're looking at it, and you're just spending so much time with that fear. I think that if we bring it up and say what is this fear? Let's take a look at it. Father, let me see this fear for what it is. Engage him in the conversation because he is completely unafraid. And there is no spirit of fear or timidity.

So, engaging him in the analysis of what am I afraid of? The thing is, is that we do it and once you do it once you're obedient, beyond fear, courage isn't the lack of fear, courage is doing it when you're afraid.

And when you step into that, it feeds courage, because you did it and go, oh, no, the dog didn't bite me. The false things that are there. Really fear, we're really not fearing so many times concrete tangent things. When we take a look at it, put the Lord into the conversation with it. Almost like when Jesus was being tempted, and then the truth was spoken, the truth was spoken. And that truth overcomes that.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 18:35

So, what I'm hearing just to summit is the narratives that we tell ourselves.

Kevin Miller: 18:40

Battle in your mind. For sure, it's a lot of that.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 18:43

And I think in that we have to guard the narratives that are coming into us. It's important to be careful about the news that we listen to about politics. All of politics is driven by fear doesn't matter what party or stance, you know, we have to be afraid of the other side. And that can be counterintuitive as a Christian, to the love of the Lord. But I love what you said about how God isn't afraid. He's not afraid of anything. He's not afraid of anything in you. He's not afraid of anything in anybody else. He is secure in his love that he heat gives.

Kevin Miller: 19:24

I think a good thing to do is to do a little study. Don't read every single fear not verse, there's too many of them. Unless you're diligent. But I would encourage people listening, go take a look at some of those fear not and have courage, especially Joshua and the first chapters of Joshua, and then put your scenario in that, put your peace of life in that. I think that really, really helps us. It's in the Bible.

I love the scripture in John 19, where Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus who were secret believers, they were scared, and they could get cast out of the synagogue. And that meant a lot more than oh, you can't go to church. It was tough business, it was really hard and something that they were afraid of. But then they went to Pilate, and they said, hey, can we take care of Jesus's body? Well, that will put you on the radar. So, those secret believers overcame that, and we don't understand exactly what the process was that happened, but it happened. And it's right there. The tomb that Jesus was laid in, was a secret believer who overcame that. So, there's some real encouragement in the Bible for that. And then, what we talked about is just focusing on that love of the Lord.

I got to tell you, I just spoke recently to a group about gaining compassion for the lost. And I said, you know, we'll run out, we just will. As nice as] the nicest person is, we're going to run out of our capacity to love certain people. Sometimes it's our family, our boss, all of that

Sarah Marie Mayne: 20:59

My boss is really hard to love.

Kevin Miller: 21:01

I understand that, my goodness, your boss.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 21:04

Kevin's my boss.

Kevin Miller: 21:06

And he's hard and difficult.

what makes it all [crosstalk:: 21:51

Sarah Marie Mayne: 21:52

Yeah. I had an experience time with the Lord last night. It just came to my attention to, and it really has to do with the whole fear and love and exactly that prayer. And I landed in, “Lord, move my heart. Move my heart towards what yours is moved for, for the love that He has. And for me, it was more in general of all people.

I feel like in the past, I used to be more loving of people in my life. I used to allow myself to be more open and freer about it. And then I had some relationships where I got hurt. And it didn't go so well in the end and people left. And there wasn't really an explanation for that. I know it was stuff with them. And I've healed a lot from it. But it came up last night.

And I was praying about it. And I realized that because of my fear of getting hurt again, on my misunderstanding and what had happened because I can't understand fully what happened. There's not closure there. I had allowed this fear around allowing my heart to be open, and loving people to start to shut down that part of my life. And there's been some good fruit as far as I think I've gained a lot more wisdom, and some logical help on boundaries and things like that. But in that process, I shut it down completely. And so, I began to pray this prayer of Lord move my heart and letting that part of myself free. Because really, that's the part of me that feels most alive. I'm working through that fear. And so, I wanted to share that because I think sometimes for a lot of us that can be a thing where maybe at one point in your life you loved so well or you were so open to love and you got hurt. I just want our listeners to know that the Lord has hope for them. And that it's safe in him to start to unlock that and allow that place to open up again, because he's the one that is with you. And it doesn't mean you're not going to ever be hurt again. But the beauty of loving with him and partnered with him is much more worth the cost.

Kevin Miller: 24:22

It's what we're made for.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 24:23

Yeah. And it's what Jesus did. He welcomed and loved Judas for all those years that Judas you know, three ish year, three and a half ish years we think. He loved Judas. He allowed Judas to be fully in his ministry and the whole time he knew this would be the guy that would kiss him to the cross. And so, he understands that hurt that we have, but he also had a confidence seated in the Holy Spirit that allowed him to move through that.

Kevin Miller: 24:57

And people that are listening that are dealing with that can do that as well. I think that one thing that you said that really hit me as you were saying this, move my heart. This whole love thing is in a feeling, it is an ooey-gooey. It's the Bob Goff, love does kind of love.

We don't always close in prayer. But I'd like to close in prayer with people today to see who wants to grab on to.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 25:20

Yeah, I'd like to pray too for anyone who resonated with what I shared.

Kevin Miller: 25:25

Okay, why don't you pray first, and then I'll close this up. Let's go.

Sarah Marie Mayne: 25:27

All right. Jesus, we just thank you for everyone listening right now to this. Lord, we thank you that Kevin and I can get together and just talk about these things and really dive into them. And, Lord, as I shared about people being hurt from loving, from doing their best in the past, to show you to give your heart. Lord, I ask that you would just minister to those people right now. Lord, I ask that you would just bring them revelation, Lord, would you show them that hurt is there? And would you let them know it's okay that that hurt is there and that you're going to take their hand and help them walk through it. Lord, I ask that they would just have courage, even though they're afraid to give this part of their heart to you, that they would know that you are safe to do this with, God that you care about that place, God that you care that they were hurt. But you don't want them to live in that because you have more for them by your spirit. And so, God I just ask that you administer to those people. That you would bring your validation, your love to that place of their heart, so that they can begin the journey of healing and of giving your love away in a more powerful way than even they had ever known before.

Kevin Miller: 27:08

Father, I agree with that. And I'm reminded in John 14, you say whatever you ask in my name, that will I do so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. And Father, we and all those that join with us in hearing this. We ask that you would give us your compassion for the lost. Everybody thanks so much for listening. It really would help us and mean a lot if you would rate and review where you're listening from. Also, we encourage you to jump on our website sent315.org and hang out on our Instagram and tell us what you're thinking. It's sent_315 on Instagram and we just appreciate you.